• judge: sir, where were you at 4:20pm last sunday
  • me: well you see sir i was just blazin some dank ass kush
  • my lawyer: same
  • me: same
  • judge: same
  • police: same
  • obama: same

unbroken-chains:

Be selfish for a day. Go shopping alone and ask advice to yourself. Eat your favorite meal alone, then order your favorite dessert. Go home and practice a silly dance coreography alone. At the end of the day, register your own thoughts with poems and silly drawings. You might think that nothing occurs in your mind but think again. All of what you’ve made looks like it’s nonsense but look at yourself and ask : after all this, what have I learned?

(via spiralight-of-venus)

jessepnkman:

ladies, if a guy doesn’t eat pussy but still expects to get his dick sucked… laugh right in his face. leave the room in the midst of your laughter. go home while laughing. keep laughing for the rest of your life. never stop laughing.

(via yeahn0pe)